Dealing With Grief

Today, November 28, 2022 marks the two year anniversary since my Poppy’s passing. That said, my final memories with him are as clear as ever. I can still see his withered body, hear his labored breathing, and feel him squeeze my hand one last time. I remember the tears soaking the mask I had to wear. That moment is ingrained in me forever.

Different people deal with their grief in different ways. For me, in the months after his death I was acting out and making irrational decisions. I couldn’t cope with what I was feeling and I let that fuel some stupid teenage actions. For the sake of privacy, I will not be sharing the identities of the following examples. I know someone else who dealt with their grief by keeping busy. They didn’t stop. They worked constantly and crowded their mind so intensely that the feelings of grief didn’t have a chance of creeping in.

They could not watch TV or read a book, at least not for a while, because that moment of down time was too tempting for the sadness. I know someone else who properly worked through their grief, letting themself feel the sadness and mourn completely.

I have learned that grief never goes away. The heartache may fade, but the missing never goes away. I miss my grandpa every day. There are always things I know he

would be thrilled to hear about, and I wish he could be here for all the important moments in my life.

Today, while reminiscing about my Poppy, I realized how significant mourning properly is. My grief took a major toll on my mental health. However, I did a lot of work to improve my state of being and want to use this platform to share my knowledge with all of you.

Grieving is necessary. The most important thing I learned is that feeling your emotions is inevitable. Whether or not you choose to let yourself mourn immediately, those feelings will not go away until you express them. Holding it in and suppressing it is not healthy, mentally or physically.

While the pain may feel overwhelming, there are healthy ways to cope with it. You may be experiencing a range of emotions, from shock, to anger, to utter sorrow. These are all normal and perfectly healthy. Losing a loved one is one of the most painful things imaginable. Life may feel as though it can never be the same, but in time, your sadness will fade and you will be able to look towards the future. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, however it is necessary to go through some process to feel your emotions.

The internet has some great resources, and all it takes is a quick google search. Further, going to a support group where others are experiencing similar things can be astronomically beneficial. In a time that feels so alone, talking with others who truly get it has a type of comfort that is indescribable. Speaking to a therapist can also be helpful if you prefer something more one-on-one.

If any of you ever need someone to vent to, I am always here to listen. NeuroResilience is a community, and we are all here to support each other. Everyone grieves differently, but at the end of the day, the process somehow happens for everyone. If in all of this you take one thing away, let it be to feel. Feel and process your emotions, that’s the most important thing.